It was like having someone die close to me. A warm and comfortable friend that I could turn to and they would be there. And, then one day they weren't. I'm not saying that I wasn't in need of a change for quite sometime, but a change in this way, was hard. Thirteen years in a "doormat" position at work is a long time. The reason I call it a "doormat" position is because no matter how hard I tried at making people happy, it always blew up in my face and people always bitched and complained. They are never happy. Sad to say, but I don't think they ever will be.
Not to say that I haven't been looking for employment elsewhere. I have been sending resumes out left and right. I've even went so far as to contact some friends in Knoxville to see if anything is going on down there. I remember calling my Great Grandma, a long time ago, and asking how she was doing and she would always say,"well, I'm putting one foot in front of the other. I must be ok." Even though some days I wish I could just close my eyes and not open them again out of the shame of all that has taken place. I have to remember to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Something is bound to give soon. I just know it. I can feel it in my bones.
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