WHO AM I

     A three word question that almost strikes fear into my heart.  Who am I?  What does it mean?  Is it referring to what I do...my job?  Is it referring to that innermost place, the secret chamber that we keep locked away inside of us?  WHO AM I ???  Is it who I am today?  Because, who I am today isn't the person I was yesterday, and not going to be the person I will be tomorrow.  I change.   Today..... I ... am ...lost. 
     Today, I seem to have lost the drive monster.  The go get it machine seems to have done got it.  I miss my job.  I try to push it out of my mind and focus on what I am actually doing and it just keeps coming back.  I don't have a purpose now with my employer.  I had a purpose before.... it actually took some thought to do what was done.  Now, no thought....just a mindless drone.   The ambition to try anything new has left me.....at least for today.  Enough about that place and how it makes me fill worthless....now I want to know about you....

WHO ARE YOU?

May my cup runneth over

     I look to my true friends for inspiration.  The close friends that I do have are all positive and I need that in my life for I tend to be sullen by nature.  I have watched a friend of mine for the past year completely change her life and push forward in  a positive direction, and wow, what an inspiration she has been to me.  She is taking a huge leap of faith by uprooting and moving across the country with nothing more than a wing and a prayer.  I know she will be successful because she has that mindset.  The mindset that nothing will stop me from living "my" life.
     I helped her with a yard sale yesterday, and it almost confirmed what I have been mulling over inside my head for about a year now.  That nothing we gather around us, material wise, is worth anything of "real" value.  When I say "real" value I mean...it's temporary.  We only purchased those items to plug a supposed hole in our cup of life.  (Not to say I didn't walk away with several plugs yesterday....who can resist a good yard sale?)  It's only when we realize that our cup isn't flawed, no cracks or holes, that we see the "real" value of those items and can let them go.  I know now she can see her cup for what it is.  Never cracked.  Never broken.  It has always been as perfect as it should have been at the time.  Now it's time to fill the cup up with things that matter.  Experiences that I do believe we take with us when we go on.    All the emotions that make us human.  The pain, love, sorrow, joy, excitement, adventure....this is what matters. This is what fills the cup.
     I've often joked that I feel like I have let my youth and any chances of adventure slip by me.  Sometimes when I joke about myself it's often to negate any real feelings I am having about myself.  I do feel like I have been ripped off.  I would like another go please!   And, with the inspiration standing right in front of me, what is stopping me?  It is being shown to me that it can be done and it will be done.  Powerful life lessons right here in my own life.
     May our cups runneth over.....